LGBT Engagement: Which Etiquette Rules Apply?

Feb 13, 2022 | Engagement Stories

Deciding that you want to get married is an exciting time – no one should spend it stressing out about what rules to follow or how to get the perfect ring! Luckily, there are beautiful engagement and wedding rings for same sex couples, with options for proposals and ring wearing as varied as the couples who decide to make this commitment.

Today, we’re having a look at engagement etiquette and different lesbian and gay wedding ring ideas – from traditional to unconventional, you’ll find that there’s something for everyone.

What etiquette applies for same sex proposals?

The first step of cementing your engagement is, of course, the proposal. The etiquette surrounding proposals have changed for all couples and now anyone can propose to their partner, regardless of their gender. Lots of engaged couples skip the proposal altogether and instead have an open discussion about their relationship and preferences.

Chances are, you already know whether your partner would prefer a grand proposal, a low key engagement or just a casual discussion about the future of your relationship. If you are unsure at all, you can always ask your partner’s close friends or siblings for advice.

If you decide to go ahead with a proposal, you shouldn’t feel pressured to follow any strict etiquette guidelines or timeline. You can find the perfect ring for your partner before proposing or, alternatively, propose with a ‘fake’ engagement ring and then go shopping with your partner to find their perfect ring after they have said yes. In any case, don’t feel afraid to discuss proposing and marriage with your partner prior to arranging your engagement plans. Despite what social media implies, most couples are jointly involved in the process of choosing an engagement ring. In fact, 62% of all couples will go engagement ring shopping together.

What ring style should I go for?

 Simply put – go with whatever ring style you want. Engagement and wedding rings for same sex couples can come in any style you can envision. Incorporate diamonds, or keep it simple with a plain band made from gold, zirconium or titanium. Some couples prefer to just wear wedding rings, while others choose to wear both an engagement ring and a wedding band.

If you want to go with diamonds, there are a range of different settings and cut options available. Traditional diamond cuts are the princess, round, cushion and emerald cuts. Meanwhile, pear and radiant cuts offer a more modern style for engagement rings. When choosing an engagement ring with a diamond, it’s also important to consider the setting. Popular settings for engagement rings include:

  • The claw setting – a setting in which four claws secure the diamond. The claw setting maximises the amount of light hitting the diamond, resulting in a brighter shine.
  • The bezel setting – a setting in which the diamond is completely set within a ring of metal
  • The halo setting – a particularly glamorous option in which the centre diamond is completely surrounded by smaller stones.
  • The cathedral setting – a classic ring setting where the diamond is upheld by two arches that rise up from the shank, resembling a cathedral ceiling.

Diamond rings are not reserved for ladies, either. Gay mens’ diamond wedding rings come in a variety of different settings and styles: from diamond details to a single diamond set in the centre of the ring.

If diamonds aren’t your style, there’s still plenty of other options available. Unadorned rings can also be as individualistic as jewelled rings, with various designs available including two-toned designs, contrasting inner bands, black Zirconium, signet rings, and milgrain details.

Should our rings match?

 Again, whether or not your rings match is up to personal preference. If you have a similar sense of style to your partner, then choosing same sex wedding ring sets can be a fun way to celebrate your engagement. However, if you both have different visions of your ideal engagement or wedding ring, don’t feel constrained by the assumption that you have to have matching rings. At the end of the day, you should choose the ring that you like the most: if it’s the same as your partner’s, then that’s just an added bonus.

I’ve been proposed to – how do I go about getting my fiance/fiancee a ring?

 There are lots of ways to go about returning the favour of gifting your fiance/ fiancee with an engagement ring. Double proposals are popular in the LGBT community as they allow both partners to propose to one another on separate occasions. Reinventing tradition with a double proposal can be a fun way that allows both partners to experience the excitement of being proposed to.

If you’ve been proposed to, consider whether your fiance/fiancee would enjoy re-experiencing your proposal from the other side. Otherwise, you can always discuss ring options with your fiance/fiancee and go ring shopping together, which will ensure that they end up with a ring they love. 

Wearing your rings

The traditions surrounding wedding ring wear have changed dramatically over thousands of years. Most people in Australia wear their engagement ring on the fourth finger of their left hand. This tradition emerged from Ancient Egypt, where it was believed that the vein within the fourth finger on your left hand flowed directly to the heart. In countries like Germany, Norway, Spain and Russia, it is common to wear your wedding ring on the fourth finger of your right hand. Wearing your wedding ring on your right hand stems from ancient Roman beliefs that the left hand was untrustworthy and sinister. Of course, we now know that the vein on your left hand’s fourth finger doesn’t directly connect to your heart, nor is your left hand inherently untrustworthy. You can wear your engagement or wedding ring on whatever hand is most comfortable, or follow your culture’s traditions.

Whichever tradition, rings and hand you choose, your rings will be symbols of your love and commitment to each other. Finding the perfect rings for same-sex couples is easy with the team at Max Diamonds – get in touch today.

Let's Talk

Schedule An Appointment or Consultation

Book your private consultation today with one of our experienced designers, diamond graders, and gemmologists. We are now offering face-to-face and virtual appointments.